tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80465430899875400152024-03-13T06:22:43.837-07:00STARS & STRIPES & ANNIKKIAnnikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.comBlogger219125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-31760797477186061112014-11-27T15:09:00.001-08:002014-11-27T15:09:18.974-08:00Pain.When there's nothing to say.<br />
Pain.<br />
When there's nothing you can do.<br />
Pain.<br />
When you wish for something more.<br />
Pain.<br />
When you hope for the better.<br />
Pain.<br />
When tears stream down your face.<br />
Pain.<br />
When you wake up in the middle of the night.<br />
Pain.<br />
When you realise why you woke up.<br />
Pain.<br />
When you're not here.<br />
Pain.<br />
When you wake up in the morning.<br />
Pain.<br />
And you still feel the same.<br />
Pain.<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="425" mozallowfullscreen="" msallowfullscreen="" oallowfullscreen="" src="https://www.flickr.com/photos/102989504@N02/15708571617/player/" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-9196545545761312282014-08-13T14:35:00.000-07:002014-08-13T14:51:30.555-07:00What can I say?It´s been a month since I´ve written.<br />
I´m not ashamed.<br />
Well oh maybe a little.<br />
A lot has happened.<br />
As always.<br />
Let´s leave that in the past.<br />
I guess sometimes being sad.<br />
Miserable.<br />
Sick.<br />
And upset.<br />
Brings out the words I see.<br />
On a piece of paper.<br />
Oh well, now on a bright screen.<br />
Yes.<br />
It´s true.<br />
Life isn´t just fun and games.<br />
Even if people pretend and want it to be.<br />
It´s always the same old roller coaster.<br />
Constantly on it.<br />
Even if I try to jump off it.<br />
It´s impossible.<br />
It never stops at the bottom.<br />
Or it might stop.<br />
But mine never lets me get off.<br />
I guess I bought a ticket, it says "valid for eternity".<br />
This is a good reminder for me though.<br />
A reminder of who I am.<br />
The overly sensitive soul.<br />
<br />
With my deep thoughts.<br />
I wish I could teleport myself now.<br />
Just for 1 hour.<br />
To my pier.<br />
My safe place.<br />
The complete silence.<br />
The nature around me.<br />
Me.<br />
My thoughts.<br />
And my complete silence.<br />
But even just closing my eyes.<br />
Takes me back there.<br />
Calms my mind.<br />
Puts a smile on my face.<br />
I have amazing memories.<br />
And even more amazing memories to come.<br />
<br />
I need to do this more.<br />
And when you read this.<br />
Enjoy.<br />
Don´t ask me what´s wrong.<br />
Just be happy for me.<br />
I found it again.<br />
<br />
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"I can say I did it all with love"Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-36111423703699189502014-07-14T14:56:00.001-07:002014-07-14T14:56:44.537-07:00Just a thought.I just realized<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">.</span><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">There's a feeling.</font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">I've never thought about before.<br></font><div><br></div><div>The feeling.</div><div>When you wake up.</div><div>In the middle of the night.</div><div>It's early morning.</div><div>The sun is about to rise.</div><div>You struggle to open your eyes.</div><div>The kitchen.</div><div>The sink.</div><div>Dirty dishes.</div><div>Dust.</div><div>All those shoes in the hallway.</div><div>Front door.</div><div>It takes a while.</div><div>To get your thoughts sorted.</div><div>Then you remember.</div><div>You turn your head.</div><div>Look back. </div><div>There he is.</div><div>Even if he is turned the other way.</div><div>Even if he is snoring.</div><div>His presence.</div><div>Makes you smile.</div><div><br></div><div>That feeling.</div><div>Makes me happy.</div></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-sbDAkzp3AD0/U8RSGeLDqqI/AAAAAAAAB-Q/HAhntDg_T80/s640/blogger-image--1313357634.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-sbDAkzp3AD0/U8RSGeLDqqI/AAAAAAAAB-Q/HAhntDg_T80/s640/blogger-image--1313357634.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">A lot had happened.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Festivals.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Work.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Sickness.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Tiredness.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">And just enjoying moments.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Been neglecting this place. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I need to see more words again.</div>Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-88764072387854796302014-06-24T12:19:00.001-07:002014-06-24T12:19:18.190-07:00Livet.Life just is.<br />
And I´m happy.<br />
Have I said that?<br />
<br />
Midsummers went by.<br />
Sauna.<br />
Friends.<br />
Lakes.<br />
Ocean.<br />
Wine.<br />
Lots of wine.<br />
Beer.<br />
Lots of beer.<br />
Did I say sauna?<br />
Love.<br />
Family.<br />
Laughter.<br />
Fishing.<br />
Boating.<br />
It was perfect.<br />
<br />
I´m in love.<br />
With here.<br />
With this.<br />
With him.<br />
<br />
Now I´ll be stuck for the weekend.<br />
Working at Tuska-festival.<br />
Which basically means The Agony.<br />
It´s all about.<br />
Black.<br />
Leather.<br />
666.<br />
Satan.<br />
And most importantly.<br />
Heavy metal.<br />
It´ll be all rainbows and unicorns.<br />
<br />
<br />
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Midsommar place.<br />
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Midsommar company day 1.<br />
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Midsommar company 2.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-ibU6vos5324/U6nOpejeNZI/AAAAAAAAB9w/55EZjcZvfIg/s640/blogger-image-2044815232.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-ibU6vos5324/U6nOpejeNZI/AAAAAAAAB9w/55EZjcZvfIg/s640/blogger-image-2044815232.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Road trip views/mobile uploads.</td></tr>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-9UOcS6OXHzM/U6nOmjsyfaI/AAAAAAAAB9o/3cqttrqigYA/s640/blogger-image--1280489755.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-9UOcS6OXHzM/U6nOmjsyfaI/AAAAAAAAB9o/3cqttrqigYA/s640/blogger-image--1280489755.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Road trip company/mobile uploads.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-t1vFFIA7jOs/U6nOrf03lXI/AAAAAAAAB94/XZ8rAbRH_BU/s640/blogger-image-379541985.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-t1vFFIA7jOs/U6nOrf03lXI/AAAAAAAAB94/XZ8rAbRH_BU/s640/blogger-image-379541985.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Late night fishing company/mobile uploads.</td></tr>
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Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-91738639555946256842014-06-16T09:06:00.000-07:002014-06-16T09:06:58.774-07:00Midsummer week. Last week just happened again.<br />
And I keep forgetting to update.<br />
<br />
Last week was hectic.<br />
Went to some shows.<br />
The weekend was filled with this and that.<br />
<br />
On Saturday my friend Lasse released his brand.<br />
Clothes.<br />
Valo.<br />
Which means light.<br />
It was a cool event.<br />
Music.<br />
People.<br />
It was in an old factory.<br />
I love old industrial surroundings.<br />
I get so inspired.<br />
<br />
Sunday was my fun day as usual.<br />
I can´t even explain my love for sundays.<br />
The feelings.<br />
Anything´s possible on a sunday.<br />
We woke up.<br />
And when I say we.<br />
I mean me and him.<br />
We walked to the other side of the city, Kallio.<br />
Ate good sunday homey food.<br />
Drove to this area outside of town, Laajasalo.<br />
And walked through these abandoned villas.<br />
Amazing.<br />
So many questions arise.<br />
I personally want one of the villas.<br />
By the ocean.<br />
In the middle of the woods.<br />
Peace and quiet.<br />
<br />
This week it´s Midsummers.<br />
Which basically means the summer is here.<br />
It´s light and bright.<br />
We get days off work.<br />
And head to the promised land of the cabins.<br />
We will visit his cabin by a lake.<br />
And then my parents cabin by the ocean.<br />
Feel the breeze.<br />
Swim in the ocean.<br />
Smell the forest.<br />
Eat well.<br />
Enjoy good company.<br />
Sweat in the sauna.<br />
Drink a few beers.<br />
<br />
I´ve missed this.<br />
Enjoy the views.<br />
<br />
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<br />
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<br />
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<br />
My childhood friend Kalle, who´s very dear to me.<br />
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<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="425" mozallowfullscreen="" msallowfullscreen="" oallowfullscreen="" src="https://www.flickr.com/photos/102989504@N02/14250239309/in/photostream/player/" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-74100154535486228652014-06-08T14:08:00.004-07:002014-06-08T14:08:52.459-07:00Dear diary.I have been busy.<br />
And happy.<br />
And active.<br />
And shit´s happened.<br />
<br />
After a 6 year struggle.<br />
I graduated school.<br />
And I am now officially a graduated arts manager.<br />
I went to school on friday.<br />
Got the verdict.<br />
Walked out in to the sunshine.<br />
And tears started streaming down my face.<br />
The joy.<br />
The proudness.<br />
The emotion of getting something accomplished.<br />
<br />
I went out.<br />
Friday night.<br />
Danced all night.<br />
To the tunes of Hercules & Love Affair.<br />
I love the new nightlife in Helsinki.<br />
Finally Helsinki is catching up to the rest of Europe.<br />
<br />
Saturday.<br />
Headed to the summer house.<br />
By the ocean.<br />
Bonfires.<br />
Food.<br />
Family.<br />
Friends.<br />
Sauna.<br />
Skinny dipping.<br />
And most importantly.<br />
My love.<br />
<br />
Here´s some weekend feelings.<br />
Talk to you soon.<br />
<br />
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My parents summer house.<br />
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The bonfire was one of the key factors of saturday night.Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-86372759217139863562014-05-25T14:00:00.001-07:002014-05-25T14:00:31.440-07:00Recently.I´ve been making myself too busy.<br />
I guess I have a tendency to do so.<br />
I make too many plans.<br />
And it brings me stress.<br />
To have time to do everything.<br />
When I sometimes just need time by myself.<br />
Even the weekend went my so fast.<br />
It was a good one though.<br />
Really good one.<br />
Sunshine.<br />
Happiness.<br />
And love.<br />
PUSS.<br />
Today I went to my parents summer house.<br />
It was one of the most relaxing things I´ve done in a while.<br />
It´s a paradise.<br />
<br />
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Porvoo.<br />
Summer cottage.<br />
And a handsome man.<br />
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Baby boo.<br />
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One of my favourite places in Helsinki.<br />
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Through the glass.<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="425" mozallowfullscreen="" msallowfullscreen="" oallowfullscreen="" src="https://www.flickr.com/photos/102989504@N02/14266723492/in/photostream/player/" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
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Street art.<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="425" mozallowfullscreen="" msallowfullscreen="" oallowfullscreen="" src="https://www.flickr.com/photos/102989504@N02/14082174348/in/photostream/player/" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br />
And my boyfriend.<br />
YES.<br />
I have one.Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-77561449794813238472014-05-18T11:22:00.000-07:002014-05-18T11:22:18.979-07:00I scream.A lot has happened.<br />
I can´t believe I´ve been home.<br />
1 month.<br />
I have my own apartment.<br />
I have a job.<br />
I have found a big liking in someone.<br />
Somehow all of this happened in a blink of an eye.<br />
I do feel happy.<br />
I am smiling more than usual.<br />
I am not planning any travels.<br />
For a while at least.<br />
I feel content.<br />
I´m surrounded by amazing people.<br />
They make me laugh until I cry.<br />
Love.<br />
<br />
Friday.<br />
I went to see a show.<br />
Huoratron.<br />
I danced for a good few hours.<br />
Saturday.<br />
Up.<br />
And out.<br />
To eat a lot of different cuisines.<br />
Restaurant day was here.<br />
I have some plans for the end of the summer.<br />
When it´s held again.<br />
Then we chilled in the park.<br />
Me and 3 other girls.<br />
Good times.<br />
Sunday.<br />
Was today.<br />
I spent my entire day at the flea market.<br />
Not a lot of people came.<br />
The weather was BEAUTIFUL.<br />
So I didn´t make a lot of money.<br />
Well, it´s ok.<br />
<br />
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Popcorn SHIRT.<br />
Flea market finds.<br />
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She was for sale too.<br />
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Beautiful topped with some Aioli.<br />
I have missed Tori.<br />
Amazing food.<br />
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Icecream in Finland marks the start of the summer.<br />
I did it on the beach as well, that´s huge.Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-27154930949667530522014-05-07T05:01:00.003-07:002014-05-07T05:01:40.350-07:00Weird things happen.Life sometimes surprises me.<br />
Well a lot of times.<br />
Always one step ahead.<br />
You never know what´s around the corner.<br />
I have a long to-do list.<br />
I wish everything would be done.<br />
By magically snapping my fingers.<br />
Reality does not unfortunately work like that.<br />
I am trying to proceed.<br />
Still figuring things out.<br />
At least I have many reasons to smile.<br />
Continuously reminding myself.<br />
Everything happens for a reason.<br />
<br />
Always.<br />
Kärlek.<br />
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Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-47922389051527442532014-05-03T05:58:00.001-07:002014-05-03T05:58:55.948-07:00May day.Came and went.<br />
How?<br />
It was fast.<br />
Fun.<br />
Crazy.<br />
And filled with laughter.<br />
Love.<br />
And friends.<br />
<br />
I´ve gotten stuff done.<br />
I have a home.<br />
I can´t believe it.<br />
I am moving forward in graduating.<br />
I usually don´t lack feeling.<br />
But my thesis does.<br />
How do I insert more feeling?<br />
I feel like throwing up.<br />
Reading and editing the thesis.<br />
I want it to be done with.<br />
Ush.<br />
<br />
I came home to my parents.<br />
To take it easy for one night.<br />
Calm down.<br />
Tonight I will O.D.<br />
On sushi.<br />
I guess I´ll move to my own castle next week.<br />
The keys are in my pocket.<br />
<br />
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It was all black.<br />
As it usually is.Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-25855479782481368512014-04-29T12:20:00.003-07:002014-04-29T12:20:41.028-07:00An ode to sauna.You walk in.<br />
You´re bare.<br />
Vulnerable. <br />
Your skin glitters.<br />
Sweat drops push through your skin.<br />
Until they drip.<br />
You breathe out.<br />
Hot air.<br />
You scratch your skin.<br />
And dead skin gets stuck under your fingernails.<br />
Dirt.<br />
You start to feel the heat.<br />
Water on the stove.<br />
More heat.<br />
You can´t take it anymore.<br />
The cleanse is done.<br />
The process is over.<br />
You walk out.<br />
Open the window.<br />
Your body releases heat.<br />
It looks like smoke.<br />
You look through the window.<br />
Inhale.<br />
The freshest breathe of air you´ve ever felt.<br />
The smell of nature.<br />
You see the ocean.<br />
You hear the birds.<br />
Soon you´ll take the leap.<br />
The leap for the ocean.<br />
I´ve been dirty for too long.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="425" mozallowfullscreen="" msallowfullscreen="" oallowfullscreen="" src="https://www.flickr.com/photos/102989504@N02/14063954712/player/" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-76065485060290813832014-04-28T12:46:00.002-07:002014-04-28T12:46:35.793-07:00Healthy?I woke up early.<br />
I ran.<br />
I made up for treating my body badly.<br />
My mother asked me if I´m back in a healthy lifestyle.<br />
I said.<br />
I can always have one healthy day.<br />
And a few bad ones after that.<br />
HA!<br />
Tomorrow´s a big day.<br />
Have a few meetings.<br />
And a presentation.<br />
I´m happy I´m getting things done.<br />
If I am really determined.<br />
I can do anything.<br />
<br />
The weekend was amazing.<br />
Fun.<br />
Spontaneous.<br />
So surprising.<br />
Filled with love.<br />
And so rough.<br />
I´m getting old.
<br />
NEVER.
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<br />
I love.<br />
A lot.<br />
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I missed this.Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-16784429895618371672014-04-25T05:52:00.000-07:002014-04-25T05:52:14.400-07:00Piece by piece.I´m putting it all together.<br />
I am seeing an apartment on tuesday.<br />
I have ideas brewing.<br />
I will create.<br />
My school is almost completed.<br />
The sun is shining.<br />
I´m inspired.<br />
It´ll be good.<br />
Lykke Li is playing.<br />
Somehow I have finally understood her.<br />
Fully.<br />
Sadness is a blessing.<br />
<br />
I really do wish my view of the world.<br />
And how I look at things.<br />
Doesn´t change.<br />
Even if I decide to stay in this pessimistic country.<br />
I guess I´m good.<br />
At least for the summer.<br />
<br />
I just uploaded some pictures.<br />
<br />
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<br />
My new favourite person.<br />
My sisters precious baby boy.<br />
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<br />
Miami hotel rooms.<br />
I guess I was just testing to get the light right.<br />
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<br />
Airport views in Belize City.<br />
Jesus is Lord.<br />
What else can I say?<br />
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<br />
I miss the crazy and hilarious boys.<br />
They´ll have another brother soon.<br />
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<br />
Random Caye Caulker rap music video shoots.<br />
Protected by the law.<br />
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<br />
Our swim school days.<br />
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Jezih as the king of the world.<br />
Or Caye Caulker.Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-44024789901046268692014-04-22T15:07:00.001-07:002014-04-22T15:07:48.100-07:00Happy?I have been home.<div>Almost a week. </div><div>It amazing.</div><div>It's beautiful.</div><div>And yet I am struggling.</div><div>After living 2 years away.</div><div>I feel like I have to find my role again.</div><div>Where should I live?</div><div>Who should I see?</div><div>What should I do?</div><div>It's made me so restless.</div><div>My recent years have made me restless.</div><div>I need a base.</div><div>I want to slow down. </div><div>I think it's here.</div><div>My mind is scattered. </div><div>And I'm completly lost. </div><div>No one else around me is. </div><div>And I feel so alone. </div><div>Can you take my hand?</div><div>And lead the way.</div><div>I'd love to have a navigator.</div><div>To guide me through life.</div><div><br></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-oTYSMvXERcE/U1boMRH9vBI/AAAAAAAAB8k/atrQ66zbnxU/s640/blogger-image-578926818.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-oTYSMvXERcE/U1boMRH9vBI/AAAAAAAAB8k/atrQ66zbnxU/s640/blogger-image-578926818.jpg"></a></div>I have missed all of this.<br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-ez2rnCKbceg/U1boK1IDFhI/AAAAAAAAB8c/Pm2zATQKhQw/s640/blogger-image--594278587.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-ez2rnCKbceg/U1boK1IDFhI/AAAAAAAAB8c/Pm2zATQKhQw/s640/blogger-image--594278587.jpg"></a></div>Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-67513980076687019102014-04-15T11:53:00.001-07:002014-04-15T11:53:44.073-07:00Miami.24 hours in Miami.<div>I'm wrecked.</div><div>And my credit card got stolen.</div><div>Here I sit at the airport.</div><div>Thirsty as shit.</div><div>Boarding in 10 mins.</div><div>Baby, I'm going home.</div><div>I feel people looking at me.</div><div>I look.</div><div>And feel.</div><div>Horrible.</div><div>And so tired.</div><div><br></div><div>P.S. I became an auntie yesterday!</div><div>My sister gave birth to an amazing human being.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-YBz3fauHKog/U02ANnVDlfI/AAAAAAAAB8M/1XSwFykS76Q/s640/blogger-image--2004166074.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-YBz3fauHKog/U02ANnVDlfI/AAAAAAAAB8M/1XSwFykS76Q/s640/blogger-image--2004166074.jpg"></a></div>Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-73071374263744546462014-04-11T12:48:00.001-07:002014-04-11T12:48:38.577-07:00Final days.My time here on the island is coming to an end.<br />
I can´t believe it.<br />
Feels sad.<br />
But also very good.<br />
I am excited.<br />
Miami for a day.<br />
And then back home.<br />
It´s been forever.<br />
Last time was in august.<br />
<br />
Right now we have the coolest lady staying with us.<br />
She made us lasagne.<br />
She´s 72.<br />
And has had an exciting life.<br />
Tough life.<br />
Has kids.<br />
Grandkids.<br />
Ex-husband.<br />
Who cheated and got someone pregnant.<br />
After 19 years of marriage.<br />
And 5 kids.<br />
She lost a son, who was 26.<br />
She had a blood clot.<br />
She had cancer.<br />
She´s been healthy for 3 years now.<br />
She sold everything she had.<br />
Because she was bored of sitting alone at home.<br />
And now she´s been in Belize for 7 months.<br />
She inspires me.<br />
And I´m happy I can have adult conversations with her.<br />
I never got to do that with my grandparents.<br />
<br />
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Paradise continued.<br />
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<br />
Someone left their glasses behind, now they´re mine.<br />
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<br />
Jezih showed me how to catch small fish during sunset last night.<br />
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<br />
Luna, the hostel dog was in heat for 2 weeks.<br />
And all the island dogs were here every night driving us crazy.<br />
It´s finally over.<br />
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My old den.<br />
I sleep in another little cottage now.Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-60199904528204081502014-04-05T12:57:00.001-07:002014-04-05T12:59:01.150-07:0040k.I wanna dive in Honduras.<br />
I wanna do a yoga retreat in India.<br />
I wanna road trip, again, in the States.<br />
I wanna see friends in Australia.<br />
I wanna surf in Nicaragua.<br />
I wanna dance with locals in Jamaica.<br />
I wanna island jump in Greece.<br />
I wanna lay in a park by the lake in Lugano, Switzerland.<br />
I wanna see the nature in Iceland.<br />
I wanna take pictures of locals in Peru.<br />
I wanna meditate in Hawaii.<br />
<br />
This is where life is pulling me.<br />
It´s not a holiday.<br />
It´s a lifestyle.<br />
Time.<br />
Money.<br />
Are you ready?<br />
<br />
Thank you 40 000 people.<br />
For following my adventures.<br />
<br />
<br />Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-12450109457349326592014-04-05T10:44:00.001-07:002014-04-05T10:44:01.898-07:00Home coming.I´m so restless today.<br />
Feeling like it´s time to make a move.<br />
I´m really scared too.<br />
And maybe a bit upset.<br />
I´m scared about going home.<br />
I keep thinking that I have been away so long.<br />
That I don´t fit in the picture anymore.<br />
I sometimes feel like I have been away so long.<br />
People just forget about me.<br />
And I´m not a part of their lives anymore.<br />
And when I´m back they´re not going to remember that I´m there.<br />
What is my role in the big picture.<br />
Will I find my place?<br />
Makes me sad.<br />
Worried.<br />
I am regretting not going to Honduras.<br />
And Nicaragua.<br />
I will return.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yesterday morning was all yellow. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-30544572311879121382014-04-01T14:15:00.003-07:002014-04-01T14:15:29.230-07:00Lazy haze.Yesterday.<br />
I was so determined to write.<br />
On my thesis.<br />
I have a week left.<br />
I was so tired.<br />
I woke up at 7am.<br />
And at 10am I was back in bed.<br />
I snoozed through the entire day.<br />
Until I felt guilty and woke up at 5pm.<br />
It was really needed.<br />
Today I was even more determined.<br />
And I really got a lot done today.<br />
So many pages.<br />
I feel positive.<br />
I WILL GRADUATE.<br />
Have to be double trouble bubble determined tomorrow.<br />
<br />
You´re probably tired.<br />
Tired of my turquoise pictures.<br />
I guess I am a bit too.<br />
<br />
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<br />
Floating through life.<br />
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<br />
Never getting sick of these sunsets.<br />
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Same old, same old.Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-8860190967033178342014-03-29T12:17:00.003-07:002014-03-29T12:17:49.788-07:00Futures.The time came.<br />
I had to sit down and plan the future.<br />
I bought some flights.<br />
I am returning home.<br />
After escaping so long.<br />
After 8 months of not seeing my loved ones.<br />
It´s time.<br />
I am scared.<br />
To go back.<br />
I am scared of having to deal with my life.<br />
Having to deal with the next step in my life.<br />
I wish someone could do it for me.<br />
And tell me what I should do.<br />
Where I should go.<br />
I am a wanderer.<br />
I can´t sit still.<br />
I need adventures.<br />
I know everything is going to work out.<br />
I have been a bit upset the last days.<br />
New people entered my life.<br />
New amazing friends.<br />
You create feelings.<br />
And then it´s time for goodbyes.<br />
Nothing here is permanent.<br />
<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sunsets on rooftops.<br />
My heart will hurt when I leave him behind.<br />
He has given and received so much love, I wish I could bring him home.<br />
Pic by my friend Samuel. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don´t do canoe trips alone.<br />
When it´s windy.<br />
You might feel helpless.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Blurry FB picture.<br />But oh so pretty.<br />By Samuel. </td></tr>
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Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-57495579350310663812014-03-22T15:45:00.001-07:002014-03-22T15:45:40.350-07:00Basically. Nothing changes.<br />
Days look alike.<br />
It´s saturday.<br />
I´m not sure what to say.<br />
Today I went to teach two small boys how to swim.<br />
At one point I had three kids on my back while swimming.<br />
It was a good workout.<br />
I might go out tonight.<br />
If the vibe is right.<br />
Been so tired lately.<br />
I have also been focusing on my school work.<br />
17 pages down.<br />
Proudness.<br />
Life is simple.<br />
And sweet.<br />
And hot.<br />
<br />
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<br />
This is where I mostly just sleep.<br />
And change.<br />
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<br />
I have a fan in my room.<br />
Rarely use it.<br />
Someone decorated the room with a xmas sock.<br />
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<br />
My precious baby.<br />
I love him.<br />
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I have met a lot of beautiful people on my trip.<br />
I wish I would have taken more pictures of them.<br />
This is Lorenzo.<br />
From Italy.Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-70076595865413305542014-03-18T12:52:00.004-07:002014-03-18T12:52:42.079-07:001 month.Yesterday was my 1 month anniversary.<br />
In Belize.<br />
I had to go to the island next to this one.<br />
San Pedro.<br />
And get my visa re-stamped.<br />
So now I am good to go for another month.<br />
Let´s see what happens.<br />
Life is so chill here.<br />
<br />
But I am sometimes longing for the real life.<br />
I am missing my inspiration.<br />
It´s coming back to me.<br />
As I just got a grant for 1500€ to do a photo project.<br />
I am so excited.<br />
It definitely is a sign that I need to do my thing.<br />
<br />
I am missing home.<br />
I am missing the states.<br />
I am missing my people.<br />
And my loved ones.<br />
My bestie Pierre.<br />
Left me.<br />
It was a sad day.<br />
Nothing is permanent.<br />
<br />
I am so happy though.<br />
On this trip.<br />
I have met so many people.<br />
People have touched me.<br />
I have heard amazing stories.<br />
I have met people from all over.<br />
They have given me so much.<br />
It´s been like therapy for me.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="425" mozallowfullscreen="" msallowfullscreen="" oallowfullscreen="" src="https://www.flickr.com/photos/102989504@N02/13249777393/player/330812c3d2" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br />
My dear Pierre soaking up the sun.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="425" mozallowfullscreen="" msallowfullscreen="" oallowfullscreen="" src="https://www.flickr.com/photos/102989504@N02/13250002064/player/f3581feeb2" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
Oh yeah, we went on a cosy lil fishing/snorkeling trip with our friend Jacob last week.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-J9mcMNbJyL8/UyijeLADc4I/AAAAAAAAB6k/QzSRARQ5j68/s640/blogger-image--329243953.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-J9mcMNbJyL8/UyijeLADc4I/AAAAAAAAB6k/QzSRARQ5j68/s640/blogger-image--329243953.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My family at the moment.<br />Jeff & Nicole, on the left are the owners of the hostel, and they´re about to have a baby. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-txW6lBoQzeg/Uyijlmqt6LI/AAAAAAAAB6s/uNa-28q2JcU/s640/blogger-image-274584229.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-txW6lBoQzeg/Uyijlmqt6LI/AAAAAAAAB6s/uNa-28q2JcU/s640/blogger-image-274584229.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh yeah, I got some new ink, quick decisions. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-53290936467605955322014-03-10T12:41:00.001-07:002014-03-10T12:41:15.022-07:00What to say.Here I sit.<br />
In the kitchen.<br />
I stare at the screen.<br />
Look to my right.<br />
The porch.<br />
To my left.<br />
The ocean.<br />
Full on sunshine.<br />
The hottest day so far.<br />
But what can you do.<br />
You have to dedicate yourself.<br />
I have to finish this.<br />
I have to graduate.<br />
Tomorrow I have a Skype presentation.<br />
And I think I´ve written about 13 pages.<br />
I´m doing good.<br />
<br />
I have also been taken over by a weird feeling.<br />
A new feeling.<br />
I miss home.<br />
And when I say home.<br />
I mean Finland.<br />
My family.<br />
My friends.<br />
It feels so good.<br />
I am excited to spend my summer there.<br />
I feel adventurous.<br />
I have so much love to give.<br />
And I am ready to receive.<br />
<br />
The last days have been good.<br />
I have been fishing.<br />
I cought two snappers.<br />
I was so proud.<br />
I was thought how to cut them up.<br />
Prepare them.<br />
And then I cooked them.<br />
And ate them.<br />
<br />
I also have had amazing people around me.<br />
Saying goodbye is always frustrating.<br />
The recent days my best friend has been a french dude.<br />
Feels like a little brother.<br />
And his name is Pierre.<br />
We had a big party night the other day.<br />
Went to a new local club.<br />
The second one on the island.<br />
I wish I could share all the stories.<br />
And share the feelings.<br />
We danced all night.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-r8DNO8c9ReE/Ux4UFrJl1LI/AAAAAAAAB6U/4gWIDpZehM4/s640/blogger-image--1651196619.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-r8DNO8c9ReE/Ux4UFrJl1LI/AAAAAAAAB6U/4gWIDpZehM4/s640/blogger-image--1651196619.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is what I see right now from the porch.<br />Goddamn. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-11922036001475366632014-03-03T09:04:00.001-08:002014-03-03T09:06:55.585-08:00All day, everyday.There´s not much happening.<br />
I am so chill.<br />
And I have ended up staying in Belize.<br />
For longer than expected.<br />
I have started volunteering at the hostel.<br />
I love this place.<br />
I live for free.<br />
In exchange for some dish washing.<br />
Easy living.<br />
I also started a process.<br />
The writing process.<br />
For my thesis.<br />
So I can finalise my bachelors degree.<br />
It´s hard though.<br />
To decide to sit indoors and write on the computer.<br />
When you look outside.<br />
And see palm trees.<br />
The ocean.<br />
Blue skies.<br />
Hammocks.<br />
Am I really complaining?<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-qLY9ufn-q2Q/UxS0kznkq2I/AAAAAAAAB54/OuGsHB5BSqw/s640/blogger-image--1875465113.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-qLY9ufn-q2Q/UxS0kznkq2I/AAAAAAAAB54/OuGsHB5BSqw/s640/blogger-image--1875465113.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Natural days with new details. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-hCEV2HAAwXM/UxS0rJpReKI/AAAAAAAAB6A/3tuN_ZrZ8zE/s640/blogger-image--4230724.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-hCEV2HAAwXM/UxS0rJpReKI/AAAAAAAAB6A/3tuN_ZrZ8zE/s640/blogger-image--4230724.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My messy room, this picture is before I cleaned. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-ErUoJZB6tsY/UxS0PRAVfTI/AAAAAAAAB5o/E3ABMB7OnMo/s640/blogger-image-400056120.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-ErUoJZB6tsY/UxS0PRAVfTI/AAAAAAAAB5o/E3ABMB7OnMo/s640/blogger-image-400056120.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The view from my room, the ocean. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-ZpahpED4WpA/UxS0eDuwTsI/AAAAAAAAB5w/FwfHwR0KlmQ/s640/blogger-image--1446443413.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-ZpahpED4WpA/UxS0eDuwTsI/AAAAAAAAB5w/FwfHwR0KlmQ/s640/blogger-image--1446443413.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My two new babies. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046543089987540015.post-50437962949382977522014-02-26T13:30:00.000-08:002014-02-26T13:30:45.908-08:00It feels like Sunday everyday. I guess boredom took over a little bit.<br />
So I arranged a pizza night at the hostel.<br />
15 signed up.<br />
And we made 9 pizzas.<br />
Was fun.<br />
Felt good to get a great communal feeling.<br />
And the owners loved it.<br />
I´m just stuck here.<br />
But it´s ok.<br />
I´m not in a rush to go anywhere.<br />
Always this guilt.<br />
Need to get over it.<br />
I was awake until 5am.<br />
I met a new friend.<br />
From my home country.<br />
And we sat up all night.<br />
Talking about life in Finland.<br />
Food in Finland.<br />
My life.<br />
His life.<br />
Struggles of life.<br />
But the consensus was.<br />
Life is amazing.<br />
I repeated (as I now do a lot),<br />
out loud to remind myself:<br />
<br />
"It´s the 25th of February.<br />
It´s 11pm.<br />
I don´t have a job.<br />
I am in Belize.<br />
It is a paradise.<br />
Life is good"<br />
<br />
I just have to keep reminding myself.<br />
I guess I miss home.<br />
In a different way than I have ever missed it.<br />
Interesting.<br />
New amazing things are coming my way.<br />
I am feeling excited.<br />
The world is my oyster.<br />
Cheesy.<br />
But it´s true.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="425" mozallowfullscreen="" msallowfullscreen="" oallowfullscreen="" src="https://www.flickr.com/photos/102989504@N02/12799137433/player/8c7827bda8" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
<br />
My daily surroundings.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="425" mozallowfullscreen="" msallowfullscreen="" oallowfullscreen="" src="https://www.flickr.com/photos/102989504@N02/12799120123/player/9a3db0cfe1" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
<br />
I went sailing.<br />
And snorkeling.<br />
And felt the breeze that I had missed.<br />
I am in my element out on the ocean.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="425" mozallowfullscreen="" msallowfullscreen="" oallowfullscreen="" src="https://www.flickr.com/photos/102989504@N02/12799133893/player/d2d0d5c9fb" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br />
My room, with the sunset, ocean view.Annikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13443470362775522092noreply@blogger.com0