I scream.

A lot has happened.
I can´t believe I´ve been home.
1 month.
I have my own apartment.
I have a job.
I have found a big liking in someone.
Somehow all of this happened in a blink of an eye.
I do feel happy.
I am smiling more than usual.
I am not planning any travels.
For a while at least.
I feel content.
I´m surrounded by amazing people.
They make me laugh until I cry.
Love.

Friday.
I went to see a show.
Huoratron.
I danced for a good few hours.
Saturday.
Up.
And out.
To eat a lot of different cuisines.
Restaurant day was here.
I have some plans for the end of the summer.
When it´s held again.
Then we chilled in the park.
Me and 3 other girls.
Good times.
Sunday.
Was today.
I spent my entire day at the flea market.
Not a lot of people came.
The weather was BEAUTIFUL.
So I didn´t make a lot of money.
Well, it´s ok.


Popcorn SHIRT.
Flea market finds.

She was for sale too.

Beautiful topped with some Aioli.
I have missed Tori.
Amazing food.

Icecream in Finland marks the start of the summer.
I did it on the beach as well, that´s huge.

Weird things happen.

Life sometimes surprises me.
Well a lot of times.
Always one step ahead.
You never know what´s around the corner.
I have a long to-do list.
I wish everything would be done.
By magically snapping my fingers.
Reality does not unfortunately work like that.
I am trying to proceed.
Still figuring things out.
At least I have many reasons to smile.
Continuously reminding myself.
Everything happens for a reason.

Always.
Kärlek.

May day.

Came and went.
How?
It was fast.
Fun.
Crazy.
And filled with laughter.
Love.
And friends.

I´ve gotten stuff done.
I have a home.
I can´t believe it.
I am moving forward in graduating.
I usually don´t lack feeling.
But my thesis does.
How do I insert more feeling?
I feel like throwing up.
Reading and editing the thesis.
I want it to be done with.
Ush.

I came home to my parents.
To take it easy for one night.
Calm down.
Tonight I will O.D.
On sushi.
I guess I´ll move to my own castle next week.
The keys are in my pocket.


It was all black.
As it usually is.

An ode to sauna.

You walk in.
You´re bare.
Vulnerable.
Your skin glitters.
Sweat drops push through your skin.
Until they drip.
You breathe out.
Hot air.
You scratch your skin.
And dead skin gets stuck under your fingernails.
Dirt.
You start to feel the heat.
Water on the stove.
More heat.
You can´t take it anymore.
The cleanse is done.
The process is over.
You walk out.
Open the window.
Your body releases heat.
It looks like smoke.
You look through the window.
Inhale.
The freshest breathe of air you´ve ever felt.
The smell of nature.
You see the ocean.
You hear the birds.
Soon you´ll take the leap.
The leap for the ocean.
I´ve been dirty for too long.

Healthy?

I woke up early.
I ran.
I made up for treating my body badly.
My mother asked me if I´m back in a healthy lifestyle.
I said.
I can always have one healthy day.
And a few bad ones after that.
HA!
Tomorrow´s a big day.
Have a few meetings.
And a presentation.
I´m happy I´m getting things done.
If I am really determined.
I can do anything.

The weekend was amazing.
Fun.
Spontaneous.
So surprising.
Filled with love.
And so rough.
I´m getting old.
NEVER.
I love.
A lot.

I missed this.

Piece by piece.

I´m putting it all together.
I am seeing an apartment on tuesday.
I have ideas brewing.
I will create.
My school is almost completed.
The sun is shining.
I´m inspired.
It´ll be good.
Lykke Li is playing.
Somehow I have finally understood her.
Fully.
Sadness is a blessing.

I really do wish my view of the world.
And how I look at things.
Doesn´t change.
Even if I decide to stay in this pessimistic country.
I guess I´m good.
At least for the summer.

I just uploaded some pictures.

 
My new favourite person.
My sisters precious baby boy.

Miami hotel rooms.
I guess I was just testing to get the light right.

Airport views in Belize City.
Jesus is Lord.
What else can I say?

I miss the crazy and hilarious boys.
They´ll have another brother soon.

Random Caye Caulker rap music video shoots.
Protected by the law.

Our swim school days.

Jezih as the king of the world.
Or Caye Caulker.

Happy?

I have been home.

Almost a week. 

It amazing.

It's beautiful.

And yet I am struggling.

After living 2 years away.

I feel like I have to find my role again.

Where should I live?

Who should I see?

What should I do?

It's made me so restless.

My recent years have made me restless.

I need a base.

I want to slow down. 

I think it's here.

My mind is scattered. 

And I'm completly lost. 

No one else around me is. 

And I feel so alone. 

Can you take my hand?

And lead the way.

I'd love to have a navigator.

To guide me through life.

I have missed all of this.