Midsummer week.

Last week just happened again.
And I keep forgetting to update.

Last week was hectic.
Went to some shows.
The weekend was filled with this and that.

On Saturday my friend Lasse released his brand.
Clothes.
Valo.
Which means light.
It was a cool event.
Music.
People.
It was in an old factory.
I love old industrial surroundings.
I get so inspired.

Sunday was my fun day as usual.
I can´t even explain my love for sundays.
The feelings.
Anything´s possible on a sunday.
We woke up.
And when I say we.
I mean me and him.
We walked to the other side of the city, Kallio.
Ate good sunday homey food.
Drove to this area outside of town, Laajasalo.
And walked through these abandoned villas.
Amazing.
So many questions arise.
I personally want one of the villas.
By the ocean.
In the middle of the woods.
Peace and quiet.

This week it´s Midsummers.
Which basically means the summer is here.
It´s light and bright.
We get days off work.
And head to the promised land of the cabins.
We will visit his cabin by a lake.
And then my parents cabin by the ocean.
Feel the breeze.
Swim in the ocean.
Smell the forest.
Eat well.
Enjoy good company.
Sweat in the sauna.
Drink a few beers.

I´ve missed this.
Enjoy the views.


















My childhood friend Kalle, who´s very dear to me.

Dear diary.

I have been busy.
And happy.
And active.
And shit´s happened.

After a 6 year struggle.
I graduated school.
And I am now officially a graduated arts manager.
I went to school on friday.
Got the verdict.
Walked out in to the sunshine.
And tears started streaming down my face.
The joy.
The proudness.
The emotion of getting something accomplished.

I went out.
Friday night.
Danced all night.
To the tunes of Hercules & Love Affair.
I love the new nightlife in Helsinki.
Finally Helsinki is catching up to the rest of Europe.

Saturday.
Headed to the summer house.
By the ocean.
Bonfires.
Food.
Family.
Friends.
Sauna.
Skinny dipping.
And most importantly.
My love.

Here´s some weekend feelings.
Talk to you soon.








My parents summer house.
'
The bonfire was one of the key factors of saturday night.

Recently.

I´ve been making myself too busy.
I guess I have a tendency to do so.
I make too many plans.
And it brings me stress.
To have time to do everything.
When I sometimes just need time by myself.
Even the weekend went my so fast.
It was a good one though.
Really good one.
Sunshine.
Happiness.
And love.
PUSS.
Today I went to my parents summer house.
It was one of the most relaxing things I´ve done in a while.
It´s a paradise.


Porvoo.
Summer cottage.
And a handsome man.

Baby boo.

One of my favourite places in Helsinki.

Through the glass.
Street art.
And my boyfriend.
YES.
I have one.

Healthy?

I woke up early.
I ran.
I made up for treating my body badly.
My mother asked me if I´m back in a healthy lifestyle.
I said.
I can always have one healthy day.
And a few bad ones after that.
HA!
Tomorrow´s a big day.
Have a few meetings.
And a presentation.
I´m happy I´m getting things done.
If I am really determined.
I can do anything.

The weekend was amazing.
Fun.
Spontaneous.
So surprising.
Filled with love.
And so rough.
I´m getting old.
NEVER.
I love.
A lot.

I missed this.

Final days.

My time here on the island is coming to an end.
I can´t believe it.
Feels sad.
But also very good.
I am excited.
Miami for a day.
And then back home.
It´s been forever.
Last time was in august.

Right now we have the coolest lady staying with us.
She made us lasagne.
She´s 72.
And has had an exciting life.
Tough life.
Has kids.
Grandkids.
Ex-husband.
Who cheated and got someone pregnant.
After 19 years of marriage.
And 5 kids.
She lost a son, who was 26.
She had a blood clot.
She had cancer.
She´s been healthy for 3 years now.
She sold everything she had.
Because she was bored of sitting alone at home.
And now she´s been in Belize for 7 months.
She inspires me.
And I´m happy I can have adult conversations with her.
I never got to do that with my grandparents.


Paradise continued.

Someone left their glasses behind, now they´re mine.

Jezih showed me how to catch small fish during sunset last night.

Luna, the hostel dog was in heat for 2 weeks.
And all the island dogs were here every night driving us crazy.
It´s finally over.

My old den.
I sleep in another little cottage now.

1 month.

Yesterday was my 1 month anniversary.
In Belize.
I had to go to the island next to this one.
San Pedro.
And get my visa re-stamped.
So now I am good to go for another month.
Let´s see what happens.
Life is so chill here.

But I am sometimes longing for the real life.
I am missing my inspiration.
It´s coming back to me.
As I just got a grant for 1500€ to do a photo project.
I am so excited.
It definitely is a sign that I need to do my thing.

I am missing home.
I am missing the states.
I am missing my people.
And my loved ones.
My bestie Pierre.
Left me.
It was a sad day.
Nothing is permanent.

I am so happy though.
On this trip.
I have met so many people.
People have touched me.
I have heard amazing stories.
I have met people from all over.
They have given me so much.
It´s been like therapy for me.

  
My dear Pierre soaking up the sun.
Oh yeah, we went on a cosy lil fishing/snorkeling trip with our friend Jacob last week.

My family at the moment.
Jeff & Nicole, on the left are the owners of the hostel, and they´re about to have a baby. 

Oh yeah, I got some new ink, quick decisions. 

Island life is slow.

I feel like this is the first time.

In a very long time.

Where I can do nothing.

And not feel the guilt.

It´s ok to not be productive.

Sometimes. 

I have had a hard time adjusting.

I still am adjusting. 

It´ll be a long process.

Yesterday I took the bike.

Went to the southern end of the island.

Found a wooden, old, handmade little jetty. 

I sat down. 

Heard nothing but nature. 

Saw nothing but turquoise water. 

And a little hut in the ocean. 

Invaded by birds. 

I was so taken by the whole beauty. 

And by what I was feeling. 

And what I was seeing.

I started crying. 

It felt so good. 

Yesterday I moved into a beautiful room.

It´s private.

It´s in a tower. 

It has windows in 3 directions. 

It has a hammock. 

I have ocean view. 

Sunset view. 

And I feel like I have my very own little treehouse. 

Light play on my very own pier.

My room and the view I wake up too.

Yesterday I stopped at this cute tiny graveyard.
I love old graveyards for some reason.
There´s a charm and beauty in them.

The highlight of yesterday.
Paradise.

The trail that took me to my paradise.
Here´s my new boyfriend.
Actually there´s two, they look exactly the same.
We play everyday.

My street, Island life. 
I met this cute little girl.
She´s 18 and travelling by herself all the way from Germany.
She reminded me so much of my old friend.

The chosen path.

Today is a good day.
Yesterday was not.
I got punished for choices I made.
I suffered.
I cried.
I said goodbyes.
Then I got up.
Realised I have done my share of crying.
No more.
I smiled.
I Giggled.
It led to laughter.
I stand firmly behind my choices.
And I am so happy.
I wish I could share this feeling with you.
Right now.
I am not sure when I have been this happy.
I am on the right path.
My belongings are on the path.
To Finland.
All I got is my backpack now.
My mantra for the whole year.
My 2014.
Don´t be surprised when we toast in July.
And I go "2014!!!!!!".

In other news.
I don´t need new socks.
But damn.
I love them.

I heart you.

I have never felt this energy from people.
On how much they get out of the New Year.
New opportunities.
Amazing vibes.
I feel it everywhere.
Everyone keeps reminding me too.
I have never felt special about a year changing until now.
I see everything so clearly now.
The signs are popping up everywhere.
I cried today.
I sat on the floor.
And I cried.
Other than that.
I had a pretty awesome day.
What about you?

PS. If you haven´t yet.
Go see my amazingly astonishing beautiful homepage annikaoksanen.com


I took this picture today.
I LOVE IT.
And I love the fact that for once.
I am in color.
(I always wear black).

This feeling.

Sunday is my favourite day.
Waking up.
The sun is shining.
I take a walk.
It´s warm.
I get back home.
I put on a Bob Marley radio channel.
Never gets tiring.
He´s been in my life since always.
Travelled with me everywhere.
We even had a rough time with Bob.
I was working at a banana farm in Cooktown, Australia.
And they played "The Legend" on repeat.
I drink a glass of lemon water.
Followed by yogurt and granola.
Coffee.
I finish up some work.
I change.
Remembered my new red bikini.
I hop on my bike.
Head for the beach.
Feel the ocean breeze.
And do what I love.
Read a book.
And occasionally sit and admire people.
I am finally in a happy place.



I have been rocking this workout-
Housewife-
Dirty-
Homeless person look.
For many days.
And yesterday I can say.
Damn I looked good.

Roswell.

This place is so creepy.
So creepy.
So creepy.
And it´s cold.
And there´s snow.
Heading towards Dallas.
Tonight or maybe tomorrow.
In the morning.
I haven´t been abducted yet.

I got an email today from a reader.
Made me really happy.
It´s fun to get some response.
And to actually have connection.
She said I inspire her.
But she inspired me.
To do even better.
And to be even better.
And to aim higher.
So thank you Johanna.
Life always takes you on the right path.
Eventually.
You just have to start feeling it.
And recognising it.
And taking it.

Me and Nico have been having deep conversations about life.
The past days.
There´s a lot I wonder about.
That I don´t understand.
Life.
Love.
Being a grown up.
All is very confusing to me.
I observe people around me.
It all seems so easy for them.
Why is that?
I guess the perception of happiness is blurry.
For me it´s something completely different.
Than for you.
Maybe I am still searching.
If you have it.
Please present it to me.
I would prefer a Powerpoint presentation.


Some pictures to share what I´ve seen with you.
Dear people.

TWIN PEAKS. 

My mountain, clearly. 

I bought a tripod, I left mine in Miami for some reason. 

My love for old cars. One day I´ll have one.

This was in Silverlake, Los Angeles. 

Me and my forever swollen cheek in the desert.
(Don´t bike while intoxicated)

Arizona desert. 

Now finally, who will publish my pictures? 

I am.

Tired.
Exhausted.
Overwhelmed.
Yet so relaxed.
And happy.
I´m in L.A.
So what could be wrong?
Why do I always feel so grounded here.
This city always makes me excited.
There´s always something new.
There´s always amazing people.
There´s always hope.
I´m hopeful.
I´m sitting on my bed.
Where I will be grounded for a few days.
I´m driven.
I´m gathering myself.
And soon the road will be calling again.
But for now.
I will fake normal life for a few days.
Normal.
Who invented that word?

Reload. 

And take beautiful pictures of beautiful people. 

Philly.

Nyc.
2 hectic shows.
Sold out.
Yesterday New Haven.
Sold out.
Today.
Philadelphia.
Driving back and forth from NYC.
Tomorrow day off.
Can´t wait.
My body is exhausted.
But there´s a lot more to come.

New Haven was great.
My old friend came to the show.
I love seeing familiar faces.
From home.
Reminds me of who I am.
Where I come from.
Brings back a lot of memories.
This particular friend was my ex-boyfriends roommate.
Back in the day.
And we are basically in the same hometown "gang".

Monday it´s off to Boston.
I am happy today.

LATE NIGHTS AND EARLY MORNINGS. 

For some reason we play a lot of churches, I call it The Church Tour.

What a night.

We were supposed to leave NYC 3 days ago.
I gotta say.
Registering a car is a pain in the ass.
So after trying to arrange that yesterday.
We decided to sit down at about 5pm.
It all started with one drink.
Which escalated into many.
Which led us to have more friends surrounding us.
Which led us to go to Maxwell, the singers party.
Which led me to be at a club next to the hotel.
Which led me to be dancing like a crazy person.
With my friend.
Taking over the dance floor.
Which led me to walk out of the club when they closed.
Wondering where I was.
Realising I was next to the hotel.
Which led me to pass out.
And that´s about it.
I met amazing people.

New York, I love you more and more.
New York, I think we need to move it to the next level.
New York, I think we need to become more serious.
New York, I think I´m ready to commit.
New York, sweep me off my feet.

This was 2 hours ago. 

It seems I stole this last night from the party.

Just the most awesome plate. It´s all for you Romeo. 

Long nights, late mornings.

Yesterday.
Dog park visit.
Tompkins Square park.
It was Halloween in there.
All the puppies had crazy outfits.
Only in America.
Met up with friends.
People came and went during the night.
We went around town.
Ended up having a little get together at the hotel.
I wen´t to bed at 5am.
Slept forever.
And ever.

Last year I was on tour during Halloween.
We went horseback riding in Montana.
So I only now realized.
Halloween is celebrated for 3 weekends.
Everyone was dressed up yesterday.
Except us.

I wish this would be my studio.
I love the bathroom.
And I know you will have opinions about this picture.
It´s the same as the subject of bikinis vs. underwear.
Why is it wrong being seen in underwear?
But then people walk in the streets of Miami in a bikini.
Would they do it in underwear?
No.
This is probably wrong.
Because I´m in a towel.
Sharing a private moment.
Even if you can´t see more skin than being in a bikini.
I don´t need to explain.
It´s art.

I wonder if she´d be proud of me?

Today I worked a little bit.
And also got a tattoo for my grand mother.
Her name was Terttu.
Which is the most old school name ever.
My middle name was in her honour.
Teresa.
I´m proud I was able to know her.
But I wish I would have been able to know her as an adult.
Knowing another adult.
I wish I would´ve heard stories about her life.
About losing her husband.
I wish she would´ve been able to share her wisdom.
About adulthood.
I only knew her as a kid.
Knowing her grandmother.
Telling me to take my feet off the living room table.
During her stay for christmas.
Everytime we went over she had these candies.
Marmelade.
I hated them.
But I still always had one.
They´ve been around since 1895.
And I´m pretty sure they have never changed the logo.
So here it is.
You eat them too right?

I also had some fun with my camera today.
I love him.

HARD TIMES. 

My view is amazing no matter what time I look out. 

Too much beauty makes you blind.

Had a friend from NYC over.
Brought me new energy.
New opportunities.
And good advice.
We´ll see if pursuing them will lead to something.
We all saw a psychic the other day.
She can´t read me.
At all.
I believed in her.
But now she just says same thing every time.
I thought she would lift me up.
A litte bit.
Can I close my eyes now?
And sleep for an entire day?
I need love.

I´m starting to take all this beauty for granted.

Heaven? 

Friends and clouds. 

What an 80´s vibe?

My glamorous life.

One of the dogs took a shit in the bed.
While I was in it.
Sleeping.
Bitch.

Pre-shit incident.

Tokyo.

I've been distant.

I'm in Tokyo.

Arrived today.

Spent 2 days in Korea.

Saw the hotel.

And the mall next door.

And the festival.

Wanted to see the gym.

I was denied access.

Because of my tattoos.

Crazy.

Discrimination. 

In 2 days I'm going home.

America.

Feels like home now at least.

4 days off.

And then on the road again.

We haven't been home in 2 months.

Guess who I'll see?

MY BOYFRIEND.

Abuelo.

Can't wait to wake up in the morning.

Look to my left.

And see his smelly face next to me.

10 hour flight to Seoul from Frankfurt.

My mirror had a tv.

Only 14th floor.

I SAW THIS AT THE TOKYO AIRPORT!

And maybe you didn't know.

But I used to be Lilla My.

The one in the red.

32nd floor.

Amazing view.

Sunday.

Computer next to the window.

Looking out.

Busy Chinatown street. 

Listening to Jay-Z. 

I am hungover. 

The sun is shining. 

It´s Sunday. 

I gotta get a move on. 

Venture the city. 

Went to some over the top house party last night. 

An amazing apartment. 

Then did a little karaoke. 

2 seconds ago I got a text asking if I wanna see Rihanna today. 

With my Tour mummy & daddy as I call them. 

Why not. 

Yesterday I spent a lot of time with my US siblings. 

The day before I spend the evening at the hospital. 

My US sister went to surgery. 

She needed some cheering up. 

What else is new? 

I am flying to London on tuesday. 

Then taking train to Paris after a couple of days. 

Coffee in the sunshine.
I had a conversation with a random person.
Sitting next to me.
He was from England. 

Went to say hi to my man yesterday.
Too bad he was only on a screen. 

Did a little film shoot yesterday.
Or I assisted as I normally do. 

My friends bags are being sold at Urban Outiftters woop.
Catsi http://www.catsi.co