All the secrecy is over.

Here it is.
Be privileged to find out.
Why I´ve been so quiet recently.
Besides my sickness.
I´ve had a hard time mentally.
You´ve heard my complaints.
I don´t think I´ve fully been happy.
For a very long time.
I have convinced myself for a long time.
That I am.
But I was just lying to myself.
Pushing real feelings aside.
And that made me depressed.
And it came fast.
And hard.
I had days where I didn´t want to get out of bed.
I just didn´t want to face my feelings.
Better to just sleep it all away.

A decision was made.
About 2 weeks ago.
There have been signs for a long time.
And one day something happened.
And it made me make the final decision.
And this is the biggest change.
Biggest decision I´ve ever made.
I have packed my whole life into boxes.
Yet again.
2 years fits in about 5 suitcases I would say.
And from that amount I have given away.
Loads and loads.
On saturday I´m throwing my backpack on my back.
My life as an assistant is over.
And I´m going to Guatemala.
And I´m totally free.
Free from everything.
I have no job.
No apartment.
No commitments.
All I have is a flight and my camera.
And we will make love.
Believe me.
I might graduate from school on the way too.

Do you know how it feels like?
To just have the road in tront of you?
I can tell you.
It´s all smiles.
I told you.
26 will be about me.

Throwback to Lombok, Indonesia 2011.
This feeling. 

30 000.

Hi.
So much to say.
How can I make it sort of interesting.
Or funny.
Finding it hard to concentrate.
Turning tv off.
I guess I will just give it a go.
Sitting here on my hotel bed.
In my bathrobe.
Feeling sentimental.
(Happiness)

I just cried a little.
Watched the movie 12 years a slave.
Before that I had some fish for late night dinner.
Fish is all I will eat from here on out.
I have had enough of all the shit food this country has to offer.
Whilst being on the road I mean.
Ok I guess I have a flow now.
Maybe I can listen to some music.
Spotify.
I need something mellow.
I really like this new artist Mø.
MØ – Freedom (#1) it is.
Anyways before the late night dinner.
I had a massage.
And this massage got me all emotional.
I knew I was tense as I always am.
I tense up when I´m stressed out.
It felt like I got a lot of emotions and tension released.
It was a healing.
Before the massage I woke up.
Before that I slept.
Before that I arrived to my hotel.
Drunk.
At 6am I believe.
Before that I was in a bar somewhere.
With a bunch of amazing people.
People I know well.
And people I will never see again.
Before that we were at a dark pub.
One of the few evenings where I had left work behind.
And let myself relax.
So I sat back.
Lit my cigarette.
And sipped.
Actually.
Chugged my whiskey cokes.
Before that I worked.

By the way.
I never share visitor statuses.
BUT.
I have to thank you.
30 000.
I wish I would know more about you.
What your name is?
Where your from?
What makes you happy?
What makes you return and read this, if you do?

I am texting Nico.
Who is in the room next door.
About the past year.
It´s been an adventure.
And I´ve visited so many places.
So many countries.
So many cities.
Been super busy.
But had a lot of fun.
I have learned a lot about myself this year.
I have gotten to know myself in a way I never knew before.
I have grown.
And I feel I´ve changed a lot.
I see the world in a whole new way.
Next year will bring so much more.
Nothings impossible.
I feel amazing things happening.

Last full moon of the year. Did you see it last night?

Hotel life is bringing me down.
At least when this room is too planned out.
Everything matches.
Same shower curtain as curtains in windows.
And pillows.
Disgusting. 

I feel satisfaction in messing my room up.
And leaving stuff everywhere.
I think it makes it feel more like your own.

Roswell.

This place is so creepy.
So creepy.
So creepy.
And it´s cold.
And there´s snow.
Heading towards Dallas.
Tonight or maybe tomorrow.
In the morning.
I haven´t been abducted yet.

I got an email today from a reader.
Made me really happy.
It´s fun to get some response.
And to actually have connection.
She said I inspire her.
But she inspired me.
To do even better.
And to be even better.
And to aim higher.
So thank you Johanna.
Life always takes you on the right path.
Eventually.
You just have to start feeling it.
And recognising it.
And taking it.

Me and Nico have been having deep conversations about life.
The past days.
There´s a lot I wonder about.
That I don´t understand.
Life.
Love.
Being a grown up.
All is very confusing to me.
I observe people around me.
It all seems so easy for them.
Why is that?
I guess the perception of happiness is blurry.
For me it´s something completely different.
Than for you.
Maybe I am still searching.
If you have it.
Please present it to me.
I would prefer a Powerpoint presentation.


Some pictures to share what I´ve seen with you.
Dear people.

TWIN PEAKS. 

My mountain, clearly. 

I bought a tripod, I left mine in Miami for some reason. 

My love for old cars. One day I´ll have one.

This was in Silverlake, Los Angeles. 

Me and my forever swollen cheek in the desert.
(Don´t bike while intoxicated)

Arizona desert. 

Now finally, who will publish my pictures? 

Seattle.

I love it here.

I have a huge headache. 

Thank god today is a day off. 

Expect for quickly going in to a studio. 

And answering emails. 

And stressing about the future. 

We arrived 3am. 

I feel like sleeping all day. 

But I need to do something else.

Random shots along the way. 

Random stops in the desert.

Salt Lake City, twinning. 

This morning in my shower bedroom. 

At a random parking lot this fella was staring at me. 

NYC I have returned.

I´m here again.
NYC.
We drove into DC.
Drove out.
5 hours later.
The city that never sleeps.
But it sure seemed like it was sleeping last night.
We have a double show tonight.
Roughness.
I feel like I should divide myself.
How can I be in 4 different places.
At the same time.
Do you have a secret solution?

I visited a very southern home the other day.
I wanted to lift down the bear.
Take it outside and yell:
"YOU´RE FREEEEEEEEE"

Day off.

Yesterday was a show day.
It was great.
Went pretty late.
We stayed here in North Carolina.
I had some beers.
First time for this whole adventure.
The evening was filled with deep conversations.
The more I talk about my photography.
The more I understand what my vision is.
And what I´m looking for.
What I want to show people.
What I want people to see.
I went to late to bed.
Woke up.
Walked around.
Felt good.
This is an amazing place.
I walked out.
And heard silence.
Small town charm.

BY THE WAY:
Find me on Flickr.

Fall trails. 

Portraits. 

Work in the local office.