What can I say?

It´s been a month since I´ve written.
I´m not ashamed.
Well oh maybe a little.
A lot has happened.
As always.
Let´s leave that in the past.
I guess sometimes being sad.
Miserable.
Sick.
And upset.
Brings out the words I see.
On a piece of paper.
Oh well, now on a bright screen.
Yes.
It´s true.
Life isn´t just fun and games.
Even if people pretend and want it to be.
It´s always the same old roller coaster.
Constantly on it.
Even if I try to jump off it.
It´s impossible.
It never stops at the bottom.
Or it might stop.
But mine never lets me get off.
I guess I bought a ticket, it says "valid for eternity".
This is a good reminder for me though.
A reminder of who I am.
The overly sensitive soul.

With my deep thoughts.
I wish I could teleport myself now.
Just for 1 hour.
To my pier.
My safe place.
The complete silence.
The nature around me.
Me.
My thoughts.
And my complete silence.
But even just closing my eyes.
Takes me back there.
Calms my mind.
Puts a smile on my face.
I have amazing memories.
And even more amazing memories to come.

I need to do this more.
And when you read this.
Enjoy.
Don´t ask me what´s wrong.
Just be happy for me.
I found it again.

"I can say I did it all with love"

Dear diary.

I have been busy.
And happy.
And active.
And shit´s happened.

After a 6 year struggle.
I graduated school.
And I am now officially a graduated arts manager.
I went to school on friday.
Got the verdict.
Walked out in to the sunshine.
And tears started streaming down my face.
The joy.
The proudness.
The emotion of getting something accomplished.

I went out.
Friday night.
Danced all night.
To the tunes of Hercules & Love Affair.
I love the new nightlife in Helsinki.
Finally Helsinki is catching up to the rest of Europe.

Saturday.
Headed to the summer house.
By the ocean.
Bonfires.
Food.
Family.
Friends.
Sauna.
Skinny dipping.
And most importantly.
My love.

Here´s some weekend feelings.
Talk to you soon.








My parents summer house.
'
The bonfire was one of the key factors of saturday night.

Basically.

Nothing changes.
Days look alike.
It´s saturday.
I´m not sure what to say.
Today I went to teach two small boys how to swim.
At one point I had three kids on my back while swimming.
It was a good workout.
I might go out tonight.
If the vibe is right.
Been so tired lately.
I have also been focusing on my school work.
17 pages down.
Proudness.
Life is simple.
And sweet.
And hot.


This is where I mostly just sleep.
And change.

I have a fan in my room.
Rarely use it.
Someone decorated the room with a xmas sock.

My precious baby.
I love him.

I have met a lot of beautiful people on my trip.
I wish I would have taken more pictures of them.
This is Lorenzo.
From Italy.

What's the secret?

We played Houston tonight.

There was a couple working.

One did our merch.

The other was the stage manager.

They had been together for 18 years.

Not married.

No kids.

I asked them what their secret was.

Patience. 

I asked them if there's hope for me.

Let's drive to Austin. 

Day off.

This is me in Indonesia in 2011.

This moment was perfect.

I wish you would read this.

Why do I keep you in my life.

I don't understand you.

I'm too nice.

I wanna believe that you are good.

In my face.

You are.

The moment you turn your back.

You're not.

You pull energy. 

And I don't have any to give you anymore.

It makes me laugh.

I see through it.

I just feel bad.

You ruined your music for me. 

The only thing I hear now.

Fake.

But I want to thank you.

Knowing you makes me aware.

I recognize. 

And I appreciate.

Good people.

And I'm surrounded by them.

And a new one just entered. 

I'm happy.

Thanks to you.

I love.

Being here.

Reminding myself of who I am.

Everyone around me reminding me.

To relax.

To enjoy.

To love.

To let it all out. 

I have missed this.

I am sad to think about leaving them all.

Again.

So much love.

I have been really emotional.

Feels good to cry. 

Goodnight.

Teresa.

I tried to explain today.
What a "names day" is.
It doesn´t really make any sense, does it?
Anyways.
Today was my grandmothers (RIP).
And my middle names celebration day!
Cheerio to Terttu & Teresa.
I have woken up really early.
And been up to a lot.
Work wise.
I am really missing some Annika time.
Who am I again?
Sometimes I feel like I always have this friend with me.
Always.
His name is Stress.
When I forget about him he pokes me in the ribs.
Reminds me that he´s still there.
Happy weekend.
May your weekend be filled with as much sunshine as Florida has been offering me lately.
IT IS FREAKING HOT.

P.S.
Shout out to my friend Lina.
She gave me some skype loving yesterday.
<3

My long hair is gone.
And I am not happy. 

I just couldn´t stop staring at this american booty at the pharmacy.
I mean it just confuses me. Waist - ass - waist - ass.
(This picture does not mean to offend anyone)

I walked past a cool barbershop, they tried too hard.

Today was a storage war day.
Walking down memory lane.
Teen years. 

NYC.

Is taking me in.
I am falling in love.
With the beauty of this city.
Finally.
I have been waiting for this day to come.
Recently I have:
Slept late.
Been a part of a photoshoot at the Highline.
Met an amazing friend from home.
Met an old friend from canada.
Made amazing breakfast.
Met amazing people.
Been to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs show.
To their afterparty.
Today.
Fashion party.
Ugh, me, really?
Maybe go to see Hot Chip.
Another party.
2 days left.
Oh why did I not postpone my flight for just a little bit longer.
Jumping in shower.
Gotta look superficial.
I mean it will be a superficial party.
Where everyone will go:
"What do you do?".

Orchard street, feels like home. 

Standing on a rooftop in Brooklyn.

Inspiration. 

KAREN O, i adore you.

www.breakingfad.com

T-day.

Yesterday was a great T-shirt find day.
And clean up your clothes day.
My brother and his girlfriend came.
They brought me AMAZING STUFF.
I was never a great rye bread fan.
Now, I can´t get it.
So I feel like I want it.
I need it.
I am fucking dying without it.
These days, no one´s really selling that shit on the streets.
Reverse psychology.
Now I wanna thank my sister for the amazing Iphone case.
A custom case with a picture of us on the back.
Love you.
(This is where you go: Awwwwwwwww).
By the way.
My dirty hands will be touching your face all the time.

I love pictures.
What would our memories be without them.
What would my mind be without them.
Blur.
Fading.
My minds make believe.
Goodnight.
I´ve spent recent nights on the phone.
Mostly with travel agents.
And hotels.
Time difference is a close friend to insomnia.

Who´s bad?

I´ve been looking for this T for a while, RIP.

Remembered I have this awesome Hunx & His Punx T, I cut the sleeves.
I did production for them in Finland. 

I had to get this!!!!! I did not know Live Nation had it´s own merch company.

I HAVE piles and piles of clothes, want some?

And these are the items I requested from Finland.
Fazers chocolate - of course, LEGENDARY.
Reissumies - Proper Rye bread.
Salmiakki - salty liquorice
Oltermanni cheese - just so relish now that I can´t have it here
Abba - tuna paste thingy to put on your bread (my mouth is watering).
JALOVIINA  or JALLU as we call it- this liquor made of brandy, neutral grain spirit and water
Last but not least.
HESBURGER MAYO - This burger chain with the most unbeatable burgers.

I GOT SO MUCH.
IT´LL LAST ME AGES AND AGES.

GUESS WHAT.

My brother.
From the same mother.
Is coming to Miami.
With his girlfriend.
My sista from another mista.
And they are bringing me a lot of goodies from back home.
So off to the airport I go.
I will play this for them in the car.
"South Beach, bringing the heat"

An ode to my mother.

It´s not just a dish.
It´s a feeling.
It´s love.
It´s closeness.
Laughter.
Friendship.
The shared past.
And the upcoming future.
I tried.
I had the chicken.
Bananas.
Bacon.
Oven.
My knowledge of making it.
Yes, the flavour were there.
No, the feelings weren´t.

And you´re thinking: "what the hell is that?!".