Jan 27, 2014

All the secrecy is over.

Here it is.
Be privileged to find out.
Why I´ve been so quiet recently.
Besides my sickness.
I´ve had a hard time mentally.
You´ve heard my complaints.
I don´t think I´ve fully been happy.
For a very long time.
I have convinced myself for a long time.
That I am.
But I was just lying to myself.
Pushing real feelings aside.
And that made me depressed.
And it came fast.
And hard.
I had days where I didn´t want to get out of bed.
I just didn´t want to face my feelings.
Better to just sleep it all away.

A decision was made.
About 2 weeks ago.
There have been signs for a long time.
And one day something happened.
And it made me make the final decision.
And this is the biggest change.
Biggest decision I´ve ever made.
I have packed my whole life into boxes.
Yet again.
2 years fits in about 5 suitcases I would say.
And from that amount I have given away.
Loads and loads.
On saturday I´m throwing my backpack on my back.
My life as an assistant is over.
And I´m going to Guatemala.
And I´m totally free.
Free from everything.
I have no job.
No apartment.
No commitments.
All I have is a flight and my camera.
And we will make love.
Believe me.
I might graduate from school on the way too.

Do you know how it feels like?
To just have the road in tront of you?
I can tell you.
It´s all smiles.
I told you.
26 will be about me.
Throwback to Lombok, Indonesia 2011.
This feeling. 


sof said...

its so fantastic to have a decition like that. your photograph shows it i think. dreams must be lived, everyone must. keep on telling us how ur travel is. and pictures are.
im happy.. i just think of doing that, to free urself.. make art. make whatever u call it. make shit. :)

sof again said...

and sorry to read the sick u been. but i think ur travel will be somethin that will gonna gives u somthin that i donnt know what it is but well we will see it thankfully.

Lina said...

Du är bäst, modigt och vackert gjort. Ser fram emot att ha tillbaka dig i mitt liv min fina vän. <3