My blogger has decided to be spanish permanently.
And I am fine with that.
They say people leave Mexico.
But Mexico never leaves people.
Or do they, haha.
I haven´t told you that I accidentally quit smoking.
I have pretty much been since a teenager.
It is bad.
I blame a doctor that I saw when I was 11.
He told me I was most likely going to start smoking.
But I enjoy it.
I never thought I needed it.
But I wanted to smoke.
It gave me pleasure.
A sense of calm.
A quiet moment.
I always said I´d quit when I found out I am pregnant.
So here we go...
I am not pregnant.
During my Mexican nights I didn´t smoke in courtesy to someone else.
When a few days had passed it became more of an issue for myself.
Am I strong enough to continue with not smoking.
Am I so weak that I have to give in.
Can I not smoke when everyone around me smokes?
I mean now I am writing about it.
And all I see is the moment.
And all I do is want to smoke.
I guess that´s what I have been excessively eating candy.
And now I will try to focus this craving on sports instead.
I will treat my body like the holy place it is.
Yesterday I ran.
I have never been able to breathe as well.
So tomorrow it´s time for Bikram Yoga.
I have never done it before.
If I die during the session.
Remember to play Iron Lion Zion by Bob Marley at my funeral.
And sprinkle my ashes in the most remote places on earth.
For example Nauru island that I read about a few days ago.
My point is.
If your body is healthy.
Your mind will be healthy.
Followed by your spirit.
All of these things work together.
And especially now when my body is still hurting from my car accident.
I really need to look into new ways of healing to get rid of this pain.
I saw a new doctor today.
I feel like I need to heal in other ways.
The mind need some healing too.
That is why I am planning a trip.
My birthday is coming up.
Why not calm the mind in Guatemala?
Sit in nature and meditate?
Yesterday I felt like a lady.
I dressed up.
Fixed up, looked sharp.
Put on my high heels.
First time in months.
Went for midnight dinner.
Had a few drinks.
Wanted to sleep.