Amazing vibes.

I´m sorry.
I have been very distant.
Up and down.
That´s how I am.
Sometimes I wonder if I am not supposed to feel happiness at it´s full extent.
Because then the downfall is so much harder.
I am trying to see good things in everything.
But today I just wasn´t able to get out of bed.
I was scared of how I was going to feel once I did.
Once I did I realised it´s always going to be a struggle.
I just should´t let the negative thoughts take over.
Because there´s so much good in my life.
And in me.
I am just so sensitive.
I need to be strong.
I an amazing person has entered my life.
I am not sure where it will go.
Or what it means.
I just know there´s a deep spiritual connection.
A sense of understanding.
A lot of wisdom to gain.
I think this person is someone who will bring a lot of joy into my life.
And I feel very happy.
Amazing times are ahead.
2014 will be my year.
AND MY BIRTHDAY IS VERY SOON.
I can´t believe it´s been a year since our party in L.A.
Where should I celebrate this year?

Can I hire someone to organise my thoughts in my head.
Unfortunately it´s a mess and there´s a lot of them?
I guess you could call yourself a therapist?
Funny?

In the office.

In Ponte Vedra Beach.
Florida.
Last night was Atlanta.
We stayed the night.
Drove 6 hours today.
It´s been a good day.
I will drive away from here.
Tonight.
Tomorrow is a day off.
Destination unknown.
We´ll see how far we get until.
Until I need to sleep.
I am filling my stomach with energy shots.
And coffee.  

I love this woman.
I love this picture that I took tonight.
It´s Nico Turner.
Remember her name. 

Stop it.

He walked in.
He looked like he had just worked out.
He walked to the bar.
He was wearing a cap.
Turned the wrong way.
As I like it.
Before he sat down he pulled up his pants.
Grey sweat pants.
I looked at my friend.
He looked at me.
We were looking at the same thing.
And we giggled.
My friend looked away.
I knew I had to see the face.
He ordered a beer.
Sat down.
I kept wishing he would look my way.
He turned around.
He looked at me.
He smiled.
I wanted to fall off my chair.
I whispered to my friend in excitement.
"IT´S DAVID BECKHAM".

Started from the bottom...

NOW WE HERE. 

What a night.

We were supposed to leave NYC 3 days ago.
I gotta say.
Registering a car is a pain in the ass.
So after trying to arrange that yesterday.
We decided to sit down at about 5pm.
It all started with one drink.
Which escalated into many.
Which led us to have more friends surrounding us.
Which led us to go to Maxwell, the singers party.
Which led me to be at a club next to the hotel.
Which led me to be dancing like a crazy person.
With my friend.
Taking over the dance floor.
Which led me to walk out of the club when they closed.
Wondering where I was.
Realising I was next to the hotel.
Which led me to pass out.
And that´s about it.
I met amazing people.

New York, I love you more and more.
New York, I think we need to move it to the next level.
New York, I think we need to become more serious.
New York, I think I´m ready to commit.
New York, sweep me off my feet.

This was 2 hours ago. 

It seems I stole this last night from the party.

Just the most awesome plate. It´s all for you Romeo. 

Just sitting here.

I had to relocate.
I moved my computer and my papers from my room.
To the lounge outside.
Sometimes you have to move to another location.
To get work done.
That´s why people have offices, right?

On Monday I had drinks with my friend Armando.
We decided to stay at my hotel.
We sat in the same place as I sit right now.
We start looking around and notice we´re surrounded.
By Patti Smith.
By a drunk Sam Shepard.
By David Byrne (talking heads).
By Steven Dorff (handsome).
Lovely.
We then gathered our troops and went to see our friend.
Willis Earl Beal play.
He was on tour with us last year.
And I barely ever saw him perform.
I now realised how amazing he is.
So amazing.
He is a true talent.
I have not heard a voice like his since Jimi Hendrix.
I cried a little bit.
Got a little shaky.
By his energy on stage.
I met Michael Jacksons nephew there.
Damn.
He was handsome.
After the show me & my friend Armando went dancing.
To this club I´ve never been to.
Ended up at a painters after party.
I had no clue who he was until I stepped into his apartment.
Saw the huge studio.
And googled him.
I hate google.
Can´t people just stay a mystery?

Yesterday was a little painful.
Migraine and no sleep.
We got our touring car.
And went to see our friends new bar.
The new (legendary) Maxfish.
After that we had a family dinner.
And I had a sleepover with my american little sister.

Now I gotta take off.
What a life.
Tomorrow the road takes us on.
Memphis.

My fab friend Armando. 

New Maxfish and Ulli. 

Construction site. 

Williamsburg. 

Portrait of me by me taken the other day. 

My location and breakfast.

Autumn light.

Fell asleep 5am yesterday.
It was a fancy fancy charity event.
If you´ve seen Gossip girl.
It was that kind of an event.
I was the only person wearing a beanie.
Everyone and anyone had long beautiful hair.
Amazing dresses and food.
Though crowd.
My highlight was when two models were fake crying on stage.
Begging for money donations.
Then we went to a bar.
Open mic night.
Amazing.
Today I got up early.
Worked.
And saw my beautiful american sister.
Picked her up from school.
Took her to lunch.
And watched her volley game.
PS. I have not been in cold like this since...
I´m not even sure when.
February?

And shot her in my studio.

Here I sit.

In my hotel room.

Eating blueberry pancakes.

With a side of bacon. 

My favourite.

I hear sounds of traffic. 

I´m on the 12th floor. 

In a corner room. 

The light in this room is always amazing.

This might be the 5th or 6th time I stay here. 

We did a show on Monday in Brooklyn. 

We had an epic after party.

With a small group of people.

I went to bed at 5am. 

Yesterday I went to my favourite restaurant.

Veselka. 

Please go if you have a chance. 

Then I saw a high school volleyball game.

Chilled in Brooklyn.
With my New York family. 

Came back. 

Had a bath.

In darkness.

While watching the view of the city. 

Today there´s a show for a charity. 

I love leather jacket weather.

The light, the light. 

NYC.

New york.

My flight was at 3:20pm.

I missed it. 

But Paloma, the dog made it.

I am now at the airport.

In standby limbo.

All flights are fully booked.

Abuelo is with me.

1 flight missed.

1 standby list done.

I was number 10.

Now I'm waiting again.

I'm number 8.

One option more after this.

Otherwise it'll be tomorrow.

Shit. 

Wish me luck.

I had 2 days off. 

I was chilling with my friends.

Made them dinner.

Went to the beach.

Saw a movie.

And tried to be lazy. 

Abuelo at this very moment.

Chilling.

One of my amazing meals. 

My luxury pizza.

Too much beauty makes you blind.

Had a friend from NYC over.
Brought me new energy.
New opportunities.
And good advice.
We´ll see if pursuing them will lead to something.
We all saw a psychic the other day.
She can´t read me.
At all.
I believed in her.
But now she just says same thing every time.
I thought she would lift me up.
A litte bit.
Can I close my eyes now?
And sleep for an entire day?
I need love.

I´m starting to take all this beauty for granted.

Heaven? 

Friends and clouds. 

What an 80´s vibe?

I ain´t no housewife.

I am longing for adventure.
There are amazing ideas brewing.

I just looked out the window.
And my whole process was interrupted.
There is a maintenance guy.
He can see straight in.
He is talking spanish to someone.
And cutting palm trees.

It´s Monday today.
5.22pm.
To be exact.
I´ve been to Wynwood today.
Again.

On friday there was an anniversary party.
At Vagabond.
It was cool.
We also went to another bar called Will Call.
The bouncer was a douche.
He wouldn´t let me wear my hat.
Eventhough I saw other people wear hats.
So I went home.

Saturday I had tacos.
At a place called Lime.
Yum.
Then I saw the Steve Jobs movie.
What an inspiration.
And Ashton Kutsher was amazing.

Yesterday I layed low.
Went to the beach for a couple of hours.
And people watched on ocean drive until the rain came.

All photos now taken with my Nikon.
Love.

Friday night 90´s. 

My Boyfriend looking funny. 

Beach life on Sunday.

Wearing my awesome Nike ID´s. 

Shoes and airplanes. 

I´m bored.

Sometimes I wish I could update while I´m out walking the dogs.
Or when I wake up in the middle of the night.
Or right when I wake up and don´t feel like moving.
But I guess those are the moments where you don´t wan´t to touch technology.
Now I´m kind of empty.
Have nothing deep to say.
Actually a lot but won´t share it here.

I had an all out weekend.
My knee and my other injuries are better.
I feel stronger.
I had my rest.
Ate my shitty food.
Got bored.
And wanted to see some people.
So I crossed the bridge (Miami Beach to Miami Mainland).
Which I rarely do.
I am pretty convenient and usually stay in my little area.
I went to a cool place I´ve been to before.
Vagabond.
3 bands were playing and 1 was amazing.
The Goddamn hustle.
I came home at 5am.
I guess.
And I was so hungover the next day.
I was not able to move.
I threw up at 9pm.
I felt old and worn.
Alcohol is not really my thing anymore.
I can´t deal with the sickness.
And the mental lows.
But I had fun.
Yesterday was fun too.
I have found my new dance partner.
We went to a sunday jam.
Called "Chocolate Sundays".
Great party.
Only hiphop music.
And me and her took over.
Danced probably 5 hours.
So I was not hungover tonight.

I was so happy to fix up and look sharp.
After many days in bed feeling miserable.
Monki dress.
Vagabond shoes.
From Finland.
And slickback is my new thing. 

I crossed the bridge. 

I ate ice for dessert.
I´m not sure what to say. 

On sunday I have my favourite brunch drink.
Bloody Mary.
At my nearest cheesy diner, Big Pink.  

Today I was wifey.
I made some stew.
I can´t explain the satisfaction of making a good.
AND BEAUTIFUL DISH.
It´s all about appearance.
(BUT THIS PIC IS "MAKING OF")

My dinner company was pretty awesome. 

I have never had spam.
I bought it.
Didn´t try it yet. 

It's not easy.

My body is in pain.

My heart is in pain.

A longing for something you don't have.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for.

And the search gets me tired.

Adulthood gets me tired. 

I need to accomplish something.

I want to make a mark. 

I want to be happy. 

And keep the cart in the roller coaster more up there.

Where you can see the view.

The big picture.

The low point doesn't really give me butterflies in my tummy. 

It's almost 4am.

Insomnia.

I thought our relationship was over.

I got myself out of the house today. 

And bought myself the same helmet I have in Finland.

Golden though.

I thought about one of my favourite songs/music videos.

Best Coast - Our deal

I was intrigued by Elvis. 

Again.

He was a mix of so many nationalities.

Is that the explanation of his overly handsome features.

I looked at my yukky knee.

Getting better.

I am staring at the wall now.

Beach.

Today I feel like my normal self.

I came home Friday.

Just slept for ages and ages. 

Woke up.

Felt restless. 

Got my 3 amigos home.

Went out for 1 drink yesterday. 

Had the option of having more.

Instead I woke up 3:30am on the couch.

Surrounded by 3 sleeping dogs.

And a loud tv.

Today I woke up early.

Went for a long walk.

Came to the beach.

And I have really needed this.

Sunshine.

And the ocean.

BUT.

I don't need:

3-4 different stereos around me.

Playing all different pop tunes.

A group of drunken locals yelling.

"BRO, I WAS IN THE WATER AND I WEN'T YO BRO, FUCK YOU BRO, PARTY ON BRO".

I'm not joking.

Sundays.

TODAY.

BUBBA & MONA LISA.

YESTERDAY.

BACK SLICK RICK.

Blackouts.

I was so close to being in a car accident.

It was so close.

Barely made it. 

My fault.

But I would had suffered the most.

Right after the situation was over.

This song came on:

(I'm not joking)

http://youtu.be/eGpfBW07qtc

I'm flying in a few hours.

I'm so sad.

But I'm alive.

Shame on me.

I took a break.
From everything.

At least I tried.
It´s always so hard for me to come back home.
Everything stresses me out.
I try to take a break.
But I´m still working all the time.
And then I try to make time to see everyone.
It´s impossible.
So that even adds more stress.
I don´t want anyone to be disappointed with me.
So I get sad.
And depressed.
I had to decide to try to have a real break.
I wan´t to do whatever I wanna do.
Whenever I want too.
I just can´t make plans.
This is the time where I can have total control of what I do.
And I need ME-time.

And I really need to turn off my phone sometimes.
I wake up to it vibrating constantly.
Even if it sometimes has just been friends texting me.
It´s been stressing me.
I hope these aren´t the signs of burn out.
I got into a lockdown mode for a few days.
But I´m ok now.
I guess this is the phase.

You are excited to come home.
You get home.
You´re an emotional wreck.
You don´t know what to do with yourself.
You don´t feel like yourself.
You start doing things.
Seeing people.
You start to feel like yourself again.
You become a happier person again.
You leave.
Bye Bye.

Cray.

Some days.

There's just nothing left to say.

I have been running around like crazy.

I feel like super woman.

I'm moving out of my apartment.

Phase 1.

But it's not only my stuff that needs to be moved.

It's amazing to realize how much stuff you've gathered during a year.

If the move happens to the other coast.

I'll roadtrip. 

But anyways.

A couple of hard working days ahead.

And I'll have a little time off.

Can you take me to Santorini?

I have been day dreaming lately.

Right now.

Sitting.

On my sandy towel.

Burying my feet deep in the sand.

Eventhough my music is blasting.

In my headphones.

I can hear the ocean.

I look up.

I'm almost blinded.

It's the most turqoise color you've ever seen. 

I see oily skin.

Muscles.

It's the scene.

They wanna show off. 

I am letting myself relax.

I'm trying to push certain things off my mind.

I am being me.

Washed Out.

The band.

Released a new album today. 

He is having a private concert.

In my ear. 

And I wish everyone else here could hear this. 

Makes me happy.

I am getting up.

6 steps and it will take me in.

I'm going into the massive waves.

Bye Bye.

Denmark.

Amazing.

I wanna come back.

I had some whiskey.

And some of us got convinced.

To see some nightlife.

It was fun.

I was unsociable.

I can't be bothered to talk.

To strangers.

I am tired.

I also feel bad.

And the inside gang is easy to talk to.

I don't want to explain same things.

Over and over.

Shit gets old. 

If you always work.

When there's time off.

Do you wanna talk about work?

No.

I loose interest.

All of a sudden I'm the icequeen. 

But I smile inside.

They keep telling me.

I have a smile they haven't seen before.

Someone invaded my mind.

Permanently. 

And I don't even mind.

Elephants invaded too.

For some reason they are mentioned around me a lot.

It all started with a dream.

Goodnight.

We out here.

After 4 days of rest.

(Which was sort of also work.)

She was working.

Once again.

On the road.

Miami to Chicago.

2 days.

Festival.

Lollapalooza.

Then she flew for 10 hours.

Ended up in Copenhagen.

Denmark.

Found herself wandering the streets of Christiania.

Smelling the scent of a certain herb as she strolled around. 

Stoll turned into hang at a beach.

Turned into a beer.

Turned into Tequila.

Turned into Tequilas.

And finally.

A very comfortable bed.

Midnight turned into 3am.

And her body was confused.

The jetlag that never left during the 4 days.

Had returned stronger than ever.

Lollapalooza posse.

We wear black.

Fly outfit. Also FLY outfit.

Dig & Mig i Danmark. 

I have someone special in mind.

Köpenhavn.