Days.

I rented a car.

Drove for 2 hours.

Arrived in West Palm Beach.

Saw some cool bands.

Drove back today.

Did some biz.

Saw an amazing friend.

Had 2 beers.

Going to bed.

In a hotel.

The battery is dead.

What's the time?

Right now.

I feel like rolling on the floor crying.
Banging my fists on the floor.
Pulling hair out of my head.
Tearing down paintings off the wall.
Do I?
No.
I´m a Finn.
How much patience do we have?
Seems like a hell of a lot.
I wish you could be here and give me a big hug.
Pat me on the head and say:
"It´s all going to be ok".
Whoever you are reading this right now.
I need a cigarette.
Then I´m off to sleep.

This is what you usually see me doing.

Where were you?

When you don´t get no love.
When you get no passion.
Create it yourself.
I walked around the corner.
And I started seeing things again.
Like I did before.

Also cookies made of snickers and potato chips are amazing.
Get them from Panther Coffee.

I have always had a thing construction sites, visually.

The cat joined the team.

Walk the path.

This is a place everyone keeps telling me to go to.
Apparently there´s cold beer. 

Too boring to read Tuesday.

Was an early morning.
Meet with attorney downtown.
A lot of work changes.
During my hang at the dog beach.
With Mona and Winston.
And doctors appointment.
And long walk with dogs.
That sums it up.
IT´S MY BROTHERS BIRTHDAY.
<3

PS. I´m a crazy dog lady.
YUK.

Woke up to this.

Chilled with Winstons mummy on the beach for a quickie.

Only Mona was with me. 

I ain´t no housewife.

I am longing for adventure.
There are amazing ideas brewing.

I just looked out the window.
And my whole process was interrupted.
There is a maintenance guy.
He can see straight in.
He is talking spanish to someone.
And cutting palm trees.

It´s Monday today.
5.22pm.
To be exact.
I´ve been to Wynwood today.
Again.

On friday there was an anniversary party.
At Vagabond.
It was cool.
We also went to another bar called Will Call.
The bouncer was a douche.
He wouldn´t let me wear my hat.
Eventhough I saw other people wear hats.
So I went home.

Saturday I had tacos.
At a place called Lime.
Yum.
Then I saw the Steve Jobs movie.
What an inspiration.
And Ashton Kutsher was amazing.

Yesterday I layed low.
Went to the beach for a couple of hours.
And people watched on ocean drive until the rain came.

All photos now taken with my Nikon.
Love.

Friday night 90´s. 

My Boyfriend looking funny. 

Beach life on Sunday.

Wearing my awesome Nike ID´s. 

Shoes and airplanes. 

My love letter.

He came back today.

He woke me up. 

Made me so happy. 

Made me smile. 

Made me all warm.  

I can´t believe he left me for so many days. 

I longed. 

I felt lonely. 

Something was missing. 

I was wondering if I had done something wrong. 

Mistreated him. 

I knew I hadn´t been around him as much as I should. 

Tomorrow I hope I´ll spend the whole day with him. 

I wish someone would love me like him, the sun. 

 

Wynwood colour love today. 

My glamorous life.

One of the dogs took a shit in the bed.
While I was in it.
Sleeping.
Bitch.

Pre-shit incident.

He is back.

And when I say he.

I mean my camera. 

I made the decision of taking out my camera. 

I have only been using my polaroid cameras recently. 

And I love them. 

So much. 

But I have my amazing Nikon SLR. 

And I need to be affectionate with my baby again. 

I just looked through some old pics on it. 

We need to be better friends. 

This is last year.
When Paloma was new to the family. 

This is a couple of days ago. 

This is today in Wynwood.
Just a random lonely warehouse.

This picture is by Nico Turner.
It´s a festival in Texas.
I´m happy.
Of Monsters and Men in the background.

I´m bored.

Sometimes I wish I could update while I´m out walking the dogs.
Or when I wake up in the middle of the night.
Or right when I wake up and don´t feel like moving.
But I guess those are the moments where you don´t wan´t to touch technology.
Now I´m kind of empty.
Have nothing deep to say.
Actually a lot but won´t share it here.

I had an all out weekend.
My knee and my other injuries are better.
I feel stronger.
I had my rest.
Ate my shitty food.
Got bored.
And wanted to see some people.
So I crossed the bridge (Miami Beach to Miami Mainland).
Which I rarely do.
I am pretty convenient and usually stay in my little area.
I went to a cool place I´ve been to before.
Vagabond.
3 bands were playing and 1 was amazing.
The Goddamn hustle.
I came home at 5am.
I guess.
And I was so hungover the next day.
I was not able to move.
I threw up at 9pm.
I felt old and worn.
Alcohol is not really my thing anymore.
I can´t deal with the sickness.
And the mental lows.
But I had fun.
Yesterday was fun too.
I have found my new dance partner.
We went to a sunday jam.
Called "Chocolate Sundays".
Great party.
Only hiphop music.
And me and her took over.
Danced probably 5 hours.
So I was not hungover tonight.

I was so happy to fix up and look sharp.
After many days in bed feeling miserable.
Monki dress.
Vagabond shoes.
From Finland.
And slickback is my new thing. 

I crossed the bridge. 

I ate ice for dessert.
I´m not sure what to say. 

On sunday I have my favourite brunch drink.
Bloody Mary.
At my nearest cheesy diner, Big Pink.  

Today I was wifey.
I made some stew.
I can´t explain the satisfaction of making a good.
AND BEAUTIFUL DISH.
It´s all about appearance.
(BUT THIS PIC IS "MAKING OF")

My dinner company was pretty awesome. 

I have never had spam.
I bought it.
Didn´t try it yet. 

It's not easy.

My body is in pain.

My heart is in pain.

A longing for something you don't have.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for.

And the search gets me tired.

Adulthood gets me tired. 

I need to accomplish something.

I want to make a mark. 

I want to be happy. 

And keep the cart in the roller coaster more up there.

Where you can see the view.

The big picture.

The low point doesn't really give me butterflies in my tummy. 

It's almost 4am.

Insomnia.

I thought our relationship was over.

I got myself out of the house today. 

And bought myself the same helmet I have in Finland.

Golden though.

I thought about one of my favourite songs/music videos.

Best Coast - Our deal

I was intrigued by Elvis. 

Again.

He was a mix of so many nationalities.

Is that the explanation of his overly handsome features.

I looked at my yukky knee.

Getting better.

I am staring at the wall now.

BAM!

I got out of my deep mode.

I was feeling great.

I put on my roller skates.

I rolled.

I stopped. 

The black jeep blinked.

He was saying "just go".

I went.

I look to my right.

HEADLIGHTS.

"She's gonna brake".

She didn't.

BAM.

I flew in the air.

Landed.

I'm alive.

Cops came.

Ambulance came. 

Spent hours in the hospital.

Bitch, see the stop sign.

This was on Monday.

I've been pretty much bed bound now.

My knee and hips are hurting.

I'm exhausted and in pain.

BUT.

I'm lucky.

I'm alive.

BEFORE.

AFTER.

At the hospital.

My friend brought me Rice crispy treats.

Home made.

I will get a new phone.

Maybe the new 5S?

Beach.

Today I feel like my normal self.

I came home Friday.

Just slept for ages and ages. 

Woke up.

Felt restless. 

Got my 3 amigos home.

Went out for 1 drink yesterday. 

Had the option of having more.

Instead I woke up 3:30am on the couch.

Surrounded by 3 sleeping dogs.

And a loud tv.

Today I woke up early.

Went for a long walk.

Came to the beach.

And I have really needed this.

Sunshine.

And the ocean.

BUT.

I don't need:

3-4 different stereos around me.

Playing all different pop tunes.

A group of drunken locals yelling.

"BRO, I WAS IN THE WATER AND I WEN'T YO BRO, FUCK YOU BRO, PARTY ON BRO".

I'm not joking.

Sundays.

TODAY.

BUBBA & MONA LISA.

YESTERDAY.

BACK SLICK RICK.

Blackouts.

I was so close to being in a car accident.

It was so close.

Barely made it. 

My fault.

But I would had suffered the most.

Right after the situation was over.

This song came on:

(I'm not joking)

http://youtu.be/eGpfBW07qtc

I'm flying in a few hours.

I'm so sad.

But I'm alive.

Shame on me.

I took a break.
From everything.

At least I tried.
It´s always so hard for me to come back home.
Everything stresses me out.
I try to take a break.
But I´m still working all the time.
And then I try to make time to see everyone.
It´s impossible.
So that even adds more stress.
I don´t want anyone to be disappointed with me.
So I get sad.
And depressed.
I had to decide to try to have a real break.
I wan´t to do whatever I wanna do.
Whenever I want too.
I just can´t make plans.
This is the time where I can have total control of what I do.
And I need ME-time.

And I really need to turn off my phone sometimes.
I wake up to it vibrating constantly.
Even if it sometimes has just been friends texting me.
It´s been stressing me.
I hope these aren´t the signs of burn out.
I got into a lockdown mode for a few days.
But I´m ok now.
I guess this is the phase.

You are excited to come home.
You get home.
You´re an emotional wreck.
You don´t know what to do with yourself.
You don´t feel like yourself.
You start doing things.
Seeing people.
You start to feel like yourself again.
You become a happier person again.
You leave.
Bye Bye.

Home.

I came to Finland for a quickie.

And I haven't been this hungover.

For a very long time.

Love.