Dec 17, 2013

30 000.

So much to say.
How can I make it sort of interesting.
Or funny.
Finding it hard to concentrate.
Turning tv off.
I guess I will just give it a go.
Sitting here on my hotel bed.
In my bathrobe.
Feeling sentimental.

I just cried a little.
Watched the movie 12 years a slave.
Before that I had some fish for late night dinner.
Fish is all I will eat from here on out.
I have had enough of all the shit food this country has to offer.
Whilst being on the road I mean.
Ok I guess I have a flow now.
Maybe I can listen to some music.
I need something mellow.
I really like this new artist Mø.
MØ – Freedom (#1) it is.
Anyways before the late night dinner.
I had a massage.
And this massage got me all emotional.
I knew I was tense as I always am.
I tense up when I´m stressed out.
It felt like I got a lot of emotions and tension released.
It was a healing.
Before the massage I woke up.
Before that I slept.
Before that I arrived to my hotel.
At 6am I believe.
Before that I was in a bar somewhere.
With a bunch of amazing people.
People I know well.
And people I will never see again.
Before that we were at a dark pub.
One of the few evenings where I had left work behind.
And let myself relax.
So I sat back.
Lit my cigarette.
And sipped.
Chugged my whiskey cokes.
Before that I worked.

By the way.
I never share visitor statuses.
I have to thank you.
30 000.
I wish I would know more about you.
What your name is?
Where your from?
What makes you happy?
What makes you return and read this, if you do?

I am texting Nico.
Who is in the room next door.
About the past year.
It´s been an adventure.
And I´ve visited so many places.
So many countries.
So many cities.
Been super busy.
But had a lot of fun.
I have learned a lot about myself this year.
I have gotten to know myself in a way I never knew before.
I have grown.
And I feel I´ve changed a lot.
I see the world in a whole new way.
Next year will bring so much more.
Nothings impossible.
I feel amazing things happening.

We had a connection.
Last full moon of the year. Did you see it last night?
Lonely showers.
Hotel life is bringing me down.
At least when this room is too planned out.
Everything matches.
Same shower curtain as curtains in windows.
And pillows.
I feel satisfaction in messing my room up.
And leaving stuff everywhere.
I think it makes it feel more like your own.


sofia said...

well , like anybody talk, ill tell you that i try to be a painter this last 4 years of my life. been learning a lot with a wondurfull person, and been in an estatal school to have the abilitation to be an art estatal teacher. this year has been really intense, started painting by myself, thinking of what i want for my life -since like a life of dont think of it.. haha, the fabrics of the room were funny, every hotel are the same! looks like the hotels here in te argentina cost. keep on living annika! that small minutes of peace sitting round will keep u ok. like myself now, trying to paint and lookin at the window.

Annika said...

You don´t need to try to be a painter, You are a painter Sofia!